Power of threads

When I woke up, Chacha Jan was still lost in his dreamland, Pal Da was in a stand-by mode and Alu was wrapped-up in blankets & pillows, trying to locate himself on GPS.

“What’s time Alu & where have we reached” I asked.

“Its 5:00 AM” – he replied lazily.

“I think we will reach in an hour. We should get fresh.” I murmured.

“Ya Pamru (it’s me). Wake up guys! Chacha Jan, let the babe go”, Alu tried to give up his laziness with this loud call.

I thought it would be better to be fresh before people queue-up before toilet. This is the only reason why I never like to spend my morning in a train. Anyway, when I returned, Chacha Jan was making some dreamy noise which only he knows. With Pal Da aloud interruption Chacha Jan finally opened his eyes. He was looking fresh. He must have done ding-dong tonight. It is said that dreams of dawn often become true. So, Chacha Jan Congrates in advance!!!!

By 6 O’clock we all became fresh. Alu tracked us on GPS. We were still 2 hours behind the Margoa station – our first destination point. Chacha Jan made me see the awesome beauty of Goa. Lakes surrounded by coconut trees, a few sailors rowing their boats in between and vibrating red sun underneath the ripples over water, all these were enough to mesmerize.

“I fully agree to Chacha. The Bombay to Goa journey should have been planned in the day time.”

“Chacha Jan! Where is the camera? Capture the beauty man!” I could not hide my excitement. Alu took the camera from Chacha’s hand, and could not explore more than Chacha’s possessiveness.

“It is not his own. Also its memory is too small. Don’t take bullshit photos.” Chacha Jan uttered.

“Why are you lying? We can delete the photos.” Alu was adamant to accept Chacha’s crap logics.

“Okay guys, we will buy one memory card in Goa” I tried to interfere.

“No yaar! why is it necessary to take these bullshit pics? We will get a lot of better sceneries there.” We got the insight of Chacha’s unrealized dreams of the night. Alu almost threw the camera to Chacha. Possessiveness of a person tells you a lot about his character & mind. Objects are made to be used & people are made to be loved. But these guys may do just opposite. But I know Chacha Jan is not a possessive guy. Finally Pal Da slight interruption helped the bullshit discussion to be scrapped.

“He had got badminton match next week.” Pal Da informed us.

“All the four years in the college you used to play hockey & now badminton. Why Pal Da?”

It must be due to chance of mixed double in the badminton. You play one good shot and one kiss is guaranteed. Hockey federation must note this point if it really want its bright future in India.

By 8:00 AM we reached Margoa. “Good morning Goa”, we paid our first greetings to the land of beauty. After usual photography sessions we entered a restaurant on the platform itself and ordered light breakfast. “Sex ratio here is very healthy guys!” Alu’s spirit once again got alive. That was the power of open legs till the waist. Existence of life was there only due to the two threads hanging over the back. Cut those threads and whole platform will convert into a complete chaos. We all know how much power a thread holds in itself. A single thread makes a kite dance in the sky. I went into flashback. In the childhood when we used to fly kites we used to have nice plans too, of cutting those threads. Now the challenge was once again the same. Only difference was that I didn’t have any clue this time. May be Goa has got the solution, I accepted the challenge of exploring it.

We came out of the platform, hired a taxi to reach Kadambi bus stand. Pavan was already there. He had arrived here directly from the Hyderabad just an hour before. Very cool guy. I never found him enraged. In the college he mostly used to remain within his GULTI group. You hardly can make him speak. He has very good collection of single word. While Pal Da queued – up for the bus tickets, we all hugged. And suddenly my phone rang. It was Tammy (Raghu / Raghavendra). He had already reached the Polelem beach. He got off from the bus directly to be dropped on the beach. Tammy is our night watchman of hostel. He is the most suitable guy for the advertisement of Centerfresh. Whenever power used to go off in the night, we used to shout, “Tammy show your teeth.” And within no time the whole wing used to light up. A typical south Indian guy – a complete ‘Dark Knight’ except his lighting power tool. He had the capabilities of communicating in multiple languages. I once counted; he speaks almost six-seven languages - Marathi, Telugu, Tamil, Kannad, Hindi, English... amazing. May be due to this unusual capability, he had got his name – ‘TAMMY (doggy)’. I advised him to search a good restaurant there.

We got into the bus. Bus was almost full. With slight management we all got seated. Bus seemed to be very old. The Chacha Jan was anxious that bus was taking too much time in starting. Alu labeled him with the ‘sick man’. With bit of enquiry I got the reason. Bus was totally dry; two old foreigners sitting on the back sit and one elderly lady in the front row of the bus. That’s why Chacha wanted to meet the conductor standing at the gate every moment. I announced my desire to open the chacha.chachi@goa_beach.com . Chacha got furious of us but who care.

The bus started after 20 minutes. With every stop bus was getting crowded. Everyone was looking for a seat. I recalled my 7^th class lesson – ‘Yaksh Yudhisthir Samvad’.

Yaksh asked Yudhishtir – “what is the biggest wonder of the world?”

Had it been today Yudhishthir must have replied – “Everyone signals an already crowded bus to stop and get into it. Once somehow he gets in, he has a desire of getting a seat while he knows that people are standing there. Added on this at every stop he curses the driver too, why he had to stop the bus at every signal. This is the biggest wonder of the world.”

Ultimately one young girl reached near the Chacha’ seat. Chacha could not let this golden opportunity go away. He imagined how she is holding his little child in her beautiful hand. He stood up and made her sit. And my lower portion vibrated again. What’s happening! Ohhhhhh….It’s my phone on vibration mode. I picked it up. I narrated the whole story of Chacha Jan to TAMMY on the phone.

“God has designed one special kind of sensor in Chacha’s bump. He can’t sit after looking at a lady type profile.” Tammy gave an expert comment.

“Tammy! That is very good idea.” I suggested him how can he incorporate this natural design of Chacha Jan in Renault Nissan next generation product if it launches a bus ever. “Two pin will automatically poke at the bump of a guy at each entry of ladies type profile in the bus. And the guy will automatically stand up. Ha ha ha….. I and Raghu laughed at our innovative idea.”

Now Chacha Jan started his next process. When you get a girl you have to impress her. So, he must had to show how much does he care for the women. This virtue has he learnt from not other than his YOG GURU Ramdev BABA. Had you not seen him on TV, how he ran away from the Ramleela Maidan in the lady’s camouflage. The whole world saw how even a ladies garment can save a man. This was a strong indication that ladies are the only path to save this world in the difficult situations.

“Chintu! you don’t have etiquettes. Alu! Pal Da! please leave the seat for the aunty. You guys are shameless.” Chacha was trying to convince the girl.

“Pal Da! we must have to give GPL to him at Polelem; GPL till his aunty sensor device breaks.” I tried to blow away my irritation.

“Uncle! Let me go, the girl stood up.” The sweet voice came as pain for Chacha Jan and pain killer for rest of us. Girl was gone.

“Ha ha ha…Chacha Jan! Be a macho man.” Pal Da tried to console him.

Alu commented, “Chacha is a sick man”. This did nothing more than to aggravate his grief. Chacha Jan adjusted his cap & sunglasses and took a long breath. He tried to grasp all the smell of his dream girl left in that seat and sat motionless. “Half an hour more journey and we will reach Polelem.” I informed everyone. I closed my eyes only to be awakened at Polelem. It was 11:30 AM. Raghu was clearly visible standing by the beach in the scorching sun. The roaring ocean was lying before my eyes. I rushed towards it. I wanted to assimilate it in my heart.

Chacha lost on the way to Goa: Day 2

Lost in the yesterday fantasy world, the day was a bit eventless. In the afternoon Chacha (Ravi Prakash) along with the Bhediya (Originality lost) joined us at Alu’s flat. It will be a bit wise step to introduce our Chacha & Bhediya before going ahead. I can’t remember how Chacha got his nice name. I think it was his crush over one fatty girl, our dear aunty, in the college. And Bhediya needs no explanation. You would have easily recognized him if you had ever dare to come in our hostel. He used to stroll in the corridors all the night. One beautiful mind – bheja fry, was his favourite food. After degree his wish was to have some taste of US minds, and he has returned only a few months ago after fulfillment of his desire. Chacha was still the same, but it was really perplexing to see the Bhediya walking like a Bhed (sheep), low energy with zero gravity motion. It’s really dangerous thing. I remembered the story – “Bhed and Bhediya”. Any way Chacha taught us some lessons of Ramdev Baba, while Bhediya corrected his US based econometry. I finally got some clue of Bhediya’s misery. He should not have studied in US, I think.

At around 10:00 pm I, Alu and Chacha reached CSTM to catch our train. We had planned to spend our night with 29 when Pal Da will join us.

“How does he look now?” I asked. He was supposed to get in after an hour. Chacha disclosed his new identity, “One glowing headphone with a head and one mobile with a hand. What a real piece of item!”

“Why does Chacha Jan do so much yoga? In his meditation world everything is an object! All these are effects of Ramdev Baba’s pumkin juice… J. You must have to drink Fenny (a type of drink made from cashew tree – found in Goa)” I interrupted.

We all tried to search him on the platform through window. The small ‘Khoj’ competition ended with my sorry to Chacha Jan and his guru Ramdev Baba. Headphone and the mobile entered the cabin with Pal Da. Either he has changed a lot after the college or I had known few about him earlier. Mobile flashed on us and the photo was uploaded on Facebook in no time. ‘Let me like it’ – Google Galaxy shouted in Alu’s Hand. These tech geeks are awesome. I realized how objective this world has become! Only objects communicate now days. We are also merely an object used by these tech guys. Facebook, Orkut, Mobiles, Video games… all use us. Do you know the mystery of success of Ramdev Baba’s yoga? Yoga used to treat human being along with others as an object which human beings never accepted earlier. But now scenario is different. Human beings lost their identity to be an object and Ramdev Baba’s yoga got its chance on all of us. Otherwise believe me, yoga is still the same only human beings have changed.

I revived the human world there, hugged Pal Da and hug continued further. We all sat there. “Now we should play 29 before it’s too late because we should have some sleep too” I proposed. Alu withdrew cards from Chacha’s (chindi chor) bag. For your knowledge, Chindi Chor is name of Chacha in the world of 29…J. We were about to start the game and one white babe came by Chacha.

“Namste – where is this sheet?” – she asked to Chacha showing her ticket.

Alu replied, “one sheet is here & other is….. just go straight”.

And she was gone with the white guy – may be her boyfriend or husband. Chacha freaked out. His chindi chori was lost between the two lobes of p-orbital hanging above in the atom (bomb). He lost two games in a row, and blamed Alu for all his misery.

“Why Alu had to interrupt when she asked him? He would have made her sit here.” After each throw of card Chacha started blaming Alu & staring all over the coach to find her. Chacha got a nice plan,

“One of us will have to make a sacrifice. Chintu will sleep at the distant sheet of the guy and we will offer them two sheets here itself”.

“What a shit! I am not going anywhere. Alu does not see girls, so he will go” I replied in haste.

Yes, we all shouted in unison. After all, it is totally his fault.

“This is ridiculous. Ai Yogi – Bhogi Chacha, don’t search Chachi here. Just concentrate on the game.” – Alu screamed.

I proved my hypothesis that, “Yoga has got a direct impact on human beings’ genital.” You can see the world’s demography. The most populated countries, India & China, both have somewhat practiced it. I had seen a movie where sex guru says to a lady that every problem arises from our genital. And so is our Chacha, Yogi – Bhogi…….(sorry Ramdev Baba… J).

Chacha’s spirit remained unfulfilled tonight and he went into the bed and so did we only to search one Chachi in Goa tomorrow…..Ha ha ha….

Savior of Virginity: The tour begins

A lot heard of GOA but could explore nothing on my last two day tour over here during DEC – 2008. The credit went only to some sensible planning of Alu (Kapali) & VD (Vak Chondhar / Vishwa Deepak). And after 3 years Alu took the responsibility again.

Much awaited tour began on 15 Dec 2011 with my journey to Mumbai. Alu & Bhalu (Chandak Barman) both came to CSTM to pick me. As usual Bhalu was in his wildy shape, totally out of control. He was abusing the taxi driver, supplying the flying kisses to passing babes & just would have smooched one girl. I thought ‘Sundervan’ was the perfect abode for the Bhalu, how come he reached here.

Any way, we all three reached at one footpath restaurant as guided by Mr. Bhalu. It seemed like the restaurant used to open only in the night. It was spreaded across a road. Food was cooked at one side of the road, and people used to sit on the other side of it. Road was used as parking place. Even at around 11:00 pm there was a very healthy crowd over there. It looked really very difficult to find a place. How busy is the life here! Everyone is running. People are having nice car & still forced to eat at footpath restaurant. It was difficult to decide whether India has become rich or poor. Even footpath eaters have got such a nice car or even a car owner has to eat at footpath. While I was lost in my thought Bhalu headed towards a waiter standing by the car. He opened his mouth to spill nothing more than ‘B & M’. I thought nothing worse could have been done. I was sure to move to another restaurant. But contrary to my expectation Bhalu effect worked perfectly. With the promise of Rs 100 tip to one of the waiter we got one table. Anna Hazare must visit this restaurant. He gives up food for corruption and we can't give up corruption even for food. Corruption runs through our veins.Corruption BABA ki Jai ho.... :(

The food was really good. After completing the late night dinner, we decided to take a tour of Gate way of India. While we travelled there, Bhalu explained the opportunities of getting a girl for all of us - not a bad idea. Expert suggestion must have to be accepted, after all this may be the last bachelor trip.

By the time we reached at the Gate Way of India, it was around 12:00 pm. Very few people were visible around the area - one babe posing for the photograph, some security guards & some guys with their families. But I think this is the perfect time to visit this place. Beauty of the long spreaded city along the ocean, twinkling lights of boats lying in the Arabian Sea, the tall building of Hotel Taj and the melody of wave; all converge at one place to make the night beautiful. I wish I would have spent at least one night here with a girl (friend) J.

Fantasy continued – and around 1:00 am we decided to return. We took a taxi near a coffee house. Bhalu told his earnest desire of the night to the taxi driver. But we could hardly see the bitches for long time. Our frustration ended with the sight of one lady over the bridge. Alu covered his face (don’t know why), I got my hands free to meet the aunty and Bhalu was happy to be back at his podium. With the U-turn taxi driver stopped the car near the lady. Started our first sex bargain but finally aunty refused to feed his children. Bhalu was dying, so we took another U-turn and car stopped just to find the correct spirit to match the Bhalu desire. The girl was not more than 20 year old. So we all had a good chance. Bargain begins –

:D - “Rs 1800 for all three”

Bhalu - “Nopes – Rs 1200 only”

:D – “1500 final”

Me – “1500 for what duration”

:D – “Sab! Ek bar karoge aur kitni baar”

Finally Alu proposed the place to her – “Pawai chalna hoga” and she agreed. Bhalu tried to take our final consent and the fantasy still continued. Before we could have refused she replied in her beautiful bitchy style – “Bol bachchan tohar, Jindagi ****”.

Ha ha ha ……Car accelerated with our laughter. Bhalu’s spirit remained dissatisfied to-night and both of us saved our so called virginity. I felt I am made to live in the fantasy world only.

With this experience, I think no one should ever feel proud of being virgin, because it costs merely 500 rupees to break it. We dropped Bhalu at his place and returned at Alu’s home at around 3:00 pm.